Vana sat on Teraura’s bed, a bit confused.

Among other things, her hand felt hot.

So there was the gender-confused Serrus, who seemed to have a split personality, Drakaya, who just seemed irritable, and Teraura. Her sister.

Remara was evil, Schnübertzen was… well, he wasn’t him, and Teraura, Drakaya, and Serrus were… kinda odd.

Teraura, not so much. Serrus, though… he… or she… was weird.

Like, really weird.

Sometimes Vana wished she could go back to how she had been. But… now she had family. For the first time since Alvas died… she had a family.

Was it a good thing?

The heat was getting really intense now. It didn’t hurt, but… it was odd.

She looked down, and screamed.

“OH… MY… GODS… WHAT THE…?” she yelled.

She stared in shock at it for a few seconds.

*

Serrus gazed at his feet. It was… odd. It didn’t seem like his life he was living any more.

Darokh had a lot to answer for.

Sara?

Yeah? came the reply from the depths of his brain.

Um… what the hell am I meant to do? I’m so bored! What do girls do for…well, fun?

Er. I guess you could… um, I don’t really know what court ladies are meant to do… all I know is all that seems to happen is they wait around pouting for their hero to rescue them or something.

…but it’ll have to be a guy who does that, won’t it?

I suppose so. That means you… um… try to… um… I guess… be beautiful. Or something… er, you could… Sara racked their memory for anything they knew about girls, um… I don’t know, get your hair done

Right. And?

And what?

What else?

Er, not much. Find other girls to chat with?

… you’re really not much of a girl, are you?

Hey, I came into existence a few days ago! I’m not just… a girl. I’m just… kind of… just slightly… differently… look, I’m just you if you’d turned into a girl and your personality changed. Right now, we’re the same, basically, but I guess it’ll be more and more helpful as time goes on. Because, you know, our experiences will be splitting.

So you don’t know what I can do?

Um… no.

Argh, Dadæf is so damn sexist…

And then a scream happened. He ran in the direction of it, almost colliding with Teraura, and they burst into Vana’s room.

*

“Vana! Are you alri-OH MY GOD!” said Teraura.

Serrus said nothing, and just stared.

He walked up to Vana, gently held her arm, and gingerly touched the orange-yellow flames that engulfed her hand. He pulled it back quickly, and swore.

“Damndamndamndamndamn! Argh, godsdamn it!”

He stuck his fingers in his mouth, sucking furiously.

“H’s ayeyoung got ome ater?” he said, his hand muffling his words.

“By god, take that out, Serrus. Let me see it,” said Teraura.

Serrus slowly took his hand out. It was almost pure red in some places.

“I damn well barely touched it! I figured if it didn’t hurt her it wouldn’t hurt me…” he said.

Teraura picked up his hand.

“What’s wrong with it?” she said, puzzled.

“It’s damn well burnt!”

“Um… where…?” she asked.

“Er. It was burnt on my fingers, but… um… what… happened?”

“It… looks fine now. Er, hang on. Question number one – why the hell are my hands on fire?” asked Vana.

“Er… it looks like a fireball. Hang on, is it a fire jet or a fireball?” said Serrus, almost babbling now.

Vana opened her palm. There was clearly a central point in the fire.

“Um, fireball, I guess,” she said.

“Er, since when were you a mage? I thought you were… well…” said Teraura.

“Well what?” demanded Vana, angrily.

“…um, kind of useless. But… can you actually use the fireball?”

“Er, I don’t know. How am I meant to do it?”

“Just… um, try to throw it, I guess…” said Serrus, hesitantly.

“Er, okay…”

Vana threw the fireball. It exploded as it hit the wall, leaving a nice chrysanthemum pattern where it hit.

“Ooh,” she said.

“Try… oh, I don’t know… a frost bolt. Or lightning. Just try to think of… coldness.  Or zap…itude,” suggested Serrus.

Vana closed her eyes, and concentrated. She delved deep inside her own mind, her own state of being, and found… the source.

And she unleashed it.

*

“Wha… what just happened?” said Serrus.

“I don’t know… I kinda blanked out after the white light.”

Serrus opened his eyes a fraction.

There was a hole in the roof.

And the floor.

“Um… I think I just made lightning happen…” said Vana.

“Oh. Well…. Very good… then… um… what’s that powder?” said Serrus, pointing to a small pile of blue-white powder around the small hole Vana had made.

“Oh… yes… YES!” said Teraura.

“What… what is it?”

“That’s arcane dust! But… Vana… you’re not eighth level, so…”

Vana shrugged.

“Meh, no problem. I hope the rest is that easy,” she replied.

“I doubt it will be,” said Serrus, grimacing, “How’re we meant to keep Remara away from us?”

“She knows who Darokh really is, but she knows nothing about you, Serrus, except you’re an imposter,” contributed Teraura.

“What about you and Drakaya?”

Teraura paused slightly before answering this one.

“She has no idea about Drakaya. I mean, who cares about servants? And I don’t know about me,” she replied.

“Right… so now what?”

“We need to get the other parts of the potion to make Jengison a girl. We need Essence of Drake, which I’m hoping you can get, Serrus…”

“Sure. Wait, what?”

“Hairs representing ‘true girlishness’, er, tannin rich strawberries, unripe Belladonna, and… oh, right, that’s about it. Yeah. So I think we should get the essence of Drake first.”

“What? Where from?”

“You have Rivia, don’t you?”

“But she’s back at the guild somewhere!”

“So…?”

Serrus spluttered for a moment, and then pointed to his breasts.

“I am NOT going back to the guild like this!”

“Why not?”

“Because, oh, I dunno, I’M A GIRL RIGHT NOW!”

Teraura folded her arms.

“…and your point is?”

“No one will recognize me!”

“Good, you’d hate them to recognize you while you’re in a dress,” said Teraura, with the air of one who knew they couldn’t lose this argument.

“They won’t know who I am!”

“They will assume you have a right to be there. Anyone who knows the incantation to get in is either a full or honorary member.”

Vana grinned, watching Serrus get more and more desperate.

“… but what if a guy tries to hit on me?”

“Let Sara take over. She knows what to do.”

“What if they want to… go to first base?”

All three of them blinked perplexedly.

“Er, what’s first base?” asked Vana, looking at each of the other’s faces in turn.

“I have no idea… it just seemed relevant,” said Serrus, “I really have no idea why I said that.

“First base of WHAT?” asked Teraura.

Hm…?

“Hang on, Sara’s waking up.”

“Good, go get her opinion,” said Vana.

You sleep in SO late now, thought Serrus.

Jeez, it’s not like you ever need me. I’m just trying to pass the time somehow, and seeing as YOU have the body most of the time, that’s all I can really do!

No need to get so hyped up about it. Look… I-

We.

Fine, WE have to go back to the guild. Rivia’s there, and we need her for part of the potion

Oh. Right… and your point is…?

B…but…

We are going there, right now.

Serrus winced.

“Sara’s with you on this…  urgh… but how do I get out without Remara noticing?”

“Who says she doesn’t have to notice?”

Serrus, for the first time in what seemed like weeks, grinned.

*

“YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE, SARA!” shouted Darokh, leaning slightly outside the window.

“NO! I’M SICK OF BEING SHUT UP INSIDE THAT PLACE! I NEED TO GO SHOPPING, I’VE BEEN WEARING THE SAME DRESS FOR DAYS!” replied Sara, Serrus for once comfortable to let her take over.

“FINE, BUT DON’T EXPECT THERE TO BE A BED TO COME BACK TO!” said Darokh, leaning back in and slamming the window shut.

Sara relaxed and let Serrus take over again.

Right, now back to the guild.

Thanks for that, Captain Obvious, thought Serrus.

I thought women couldn’t go past seargent?

… shut up. I don’t need your comments.

Suuuure.

Serrus made an attempt to glare at Sara. It didn’t really work.

Nice, said Sara, stifling a thought laugh.

Oh, just shut up, replied Serrus, and, for the first time in what seemed like years, returned to the assassin’s guild.

Instead, allow me to produce for you this 17 second video.

The red guy dancing and the big slashy demon aren’t related, but the other three things are.

Seriously.

Yay… I guess.

Sigh.

Check back in about a week, I’ll post an update by then.

Before you start throwing stuff at the computer, here’s some copyright infringing goodness. World of Warcraft was used to make all these pictures.

If I can’t get anything for you next week, I’ll put up some little teasers.
See yas.

There was a short pause.

That’s actually really noble of you, Darokh, said Drakaya, surprised.

Yeah, I thought that too, thought Sara, right up to the point where I reallised he’s included in that “everyone” .

The driver coughed politely.

“Hm? Wassat? H’goes ‘ere?”

“Lord Daryun, accompanied by his family and friends. We merely seek sanctuary,” called the driver.

“Wha’ever…” mumbled the guard, and he closed his eyes again.

The coach trundled through. The guard caught a glimpse of Serrus through one of the windows.

His eyes opened wide.

Serrus winked at him as they went past, and giggled. The man’s Adam’s apple started bobbing up and down.

Oh, gods, thought Serrus, I just winked at a guard.

Um… so? came Drakaya’s reply.

Look, I’d never normally do that. Darokh HAS changed me. It’s kind of creepy.

Yeah? Whenever I talk to you now, I have an urge for every second word to be ma’am!

Hang on, thought Teraura, why do we still think normally, then?

Well… Maybe he just changed the speech parts…began Drakaya.

That can’t be right. I still winked at that random guard, replied Serrus.

Well… I dunno then. But… this isn’t magic. This is something else, thought Drakaya

“We’re almost here…” said Darokh, “So you can wash off soon, dear.”

“Oh, thank the gods. I’ve felt horrible traveling like this,” replied Merrissa.

The coach pulled up at the palace. The five of them got out while the driver tried to find the stables.

“Ah, the Dadæf palace. Such marvelous architecture,”

“But daddy, it’s past midnight by now, and mother has cow droppings all over her back! I wanna go inside!” whined Serrus. Inside he cringed at his own voice.

“Now, now, Sara. We’ll be inside soon enough,” said Merrissa, although she had seemed rather uncomfortable as Serrus had pointed out the state of her back.

Teraura had remained silent throughout the trip, and Serrus had been bored out of his brain the whole time. Drakaya, while obviously fuming with rage, hadn’t said much. The only people he could talk to were Darokh and Merrissa, but they were his parents. In a way. And there’s only a certain amount of conversations you can have with your parents, real or not. He’d already gotten sick of listening to how his parents met. And every single holiday they’d had. And their fallouts.

He had found himself wondering exactly how intricate their backstory was. From what he could tell, Lord Daryun could trace his ancestors back four generations, and had had portraits of them in the manor in which he had supposedly lived. Serrus had found himself getting confused for parts of the trip. He kept having memories that weren’t his, like riding ponies around the manor grounds. And he had two memories of his fourtieth birthday, or the equivalent of around 10 for a human. Two separate days… there was the one… the real one… the one where he ran away from home and found the assassin’s guild. And the other one… the one where he was Sara and it was him. Or her. But he… or she… had had friends. He had Sara’s memories.

But… she wasn’t real. Was she?

It was an identity crisis. Which…which one was she?

Oh, crud… he thought, I’m… I… who am I?

*

Schnübertzen was worried.

Vana was forty, but she looked twenty-ish, and had been 3 yesterday. Remara seemed to know a lot more than he’d thought. His chances were shattered. He ought to flee… but maybe Remara was right. Maybe Vana… maybe she… maybe she could still be manipulated…

And that train of thought stopped. All this drained away.

He… he couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t keep going.

But if he fled… maybe… maybe Remara wasn’t the friend he’d thought.

“Ah, Al. You’ve been avoiding me lately,” she said, from behind him.

He turned around slowly.

“Remara?”

“Yes?”

“You’re not… you’re not who you seem, are you?”

“What, a strikingly attractive semi-demigoddess?”

“Someone’s modest.”

“I’m not… quite as powerful as I’d like. But I am more powerful than you.”

“Then show me,” said Schnübertzen, moving into a casting stance.

“No. But…” she said, as a knocking at the door started, “We have visitors. And you cannot go down looking like that…”

And she waved her hand. Schnübertzen’s rotting flesh healed over and cleared up. He changed from his normal grey-green to a perfectly normal pinkish. Even his hair grew back.

“You… I’m not…” he mumbled.

“Oh, you’re still undead. You just don’t look like it.”

“B… but why?”

Remara ignored him.

“Hm, red? Yes, red I think,” she said to herself.

She stroked her hair, and it changed colour, turning to an autumn-leaf red. She seemed to be getting younger, too.

“How… how are you doing that?”

“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” she said, and then she giggled, “Now, you’re not going to remember any of this… so we might as well,” and she waved a hand in front of his face.

Schnübertzen’s face blanked, and he extended an arm.

“My lady? Should we go down and meet the guests?”

“I couldn’t agree more, my lord,” she said, and she walked arm-in-arm with him in the general direction of the stairs.

*

Merrissa blanked again. “Teraura. Be careful,” said Darokh, “She will be even more powerful. And keep an eye out for Vana.”

Teraura nodded, and Merrissa started up again.

The main door to the palace opened, nearly blinding Darokh, Serrus, Teraura, Drakaya, and Merrissa.

“Ah, Lord Daryun,” said Remara.

“Yes. And you are…?”

“I am Remara,”

Teraura made a noise that may have been a stifled gasp.

Schnübertzen nodded at Darokh, stiffly. Darokh extended a hand, which Schnübertzen ignored.

“And you must be Sara,” said Remara, nodding at Serrus. Their eyes locked, and Serrus could have sworn her eyes glowed red at that point.

“Yes, your ladyship… father, can we please go in now?” Sara said. No, no! I’m Serrus!

 “Oh? You wish entry?”

“Yes. Our castle was mobbed, and Aurabelle’s parents were lynched.”

Aurabelle started crying. Damn it, it’s Teraura! Why did I think it was Aurabelle? thought Serrus, What… what’s happening to me?

“Is Sara here alright?” asked Remara.

“Yes, fine,” sh- no, HE said.

Serrus could have sworn he saw a glint of fear in Albërcht’s eyes as he turned around. He said nothing, but the intent was clear.

Help me.

*

Serrus simply couldn’t handle the confusion, so late at night, far after Remara had shown them their rooms, he found Darokh in his room. To his surprise, Darokh was awake and sorting through some pieces of paper.

“Darokh?”

Darokh sighed, and turned around slowly. “Yes, Serrus? Please try not to talk out of character from now.”

“No, that’s the problem. I keep thinking I AM Sara, that you’re really my father, that Drakaya’s a maid. But it’s getting harder to convince myself that. I’m worried that if I sleep, I’ll lose everything about Serrus, and just become Sara,” he said.

“What? That shouldn’t be happening!” said Darokh, “I only changed some small speech and behavioural parts… never personality or memory.”

“Well… why am I like this, then?”

“Someone else must know. Someone knows we are here… we are to remain completely in character. Nothing at all can be risked,” he said, “But even so… this is not good. I’ll partially remove it. From dusk through dawn, you will revert to your old mind completely. This will also make the main parts of the mission slightly easier.”

Darokh waved a hand in dismissal, and the part of Serrus’s mind labelled “Sara” became dormant.

“Oh my gods, THANK you. That was horrible.”

“Enjoy it while you can. It’ll stop at dawn, like I said.”

Serrus stumbled out, muttering thanks, and almost walked into Remara.

“Up late, Sara?” said Remara. Her smirking was making Serrus uncomfortable.

“Um, yeah. Yes. I had to go to the bathroom,” he mumbled.

“In your father’s room?” Remara replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes… because… I… need to get some… toilet paper… and the stuff here is far too rough,” he stammered.

“And you didn’t find any?”

“Um, no. None,”

“Well, go off to the bathroom then. And don’t worry, it becomes easy after a while,” said Remara, and she wandered off.

*

It took a few hours for Serrus to actually need to go, but he realised after missing the bowl three times that it wasn’t going to work standing up.

And then it hit him.

Remara knew.

He swore.

*

Drakaya snored loudly. At about 4 AM, someone shook her awake.

“Mm?” she mumbled.

“Do you want any free time or not?” said someone.

“Wha?”

“Just get up.”

Drakaya pulled herself slowly upwards.

“Do… do you always wake up this early?” she said to the figure that pulled itself together into what looked like another maid.

“Come on, we let you sleep in for an hour!”

“So you wake up at what, three?”

“Usually earlier. Look, you better get started on Lady Merrissa’s breakfast. I’ll begin Sara and Aurabelle’s, but you really ought to finish this… I need to work on Remara and Al’s breakfast.”

“Al?”

“…you really are new to this job, aren’t you? Probably a street urchin, I suppose. Trying to make an honest eru… must be tough on you…”

Drakaya tried to look demure. This was hard, seeing as she had no idea what it actually meant, but she did the best she could.

“It’s okay. I’ll try to help you get started, but you should really try to work on improving your own work. What’s your name? I’m Emma.”

“I’m… I’m, oh, right. Yeah. I’m Maisie.”

“Hey. We’ll get you up to speed in no time,” said Emma, and looked critically at Drakaya, “hopefully.”

*

Remara dashed through the early morning streets of Arakan, dodging the occasional trundling citizen. It took her a while, but she found the alley.

“LEMME IN, I AM NOT IN A GOOD MOOD!” she bellowed.

The hidden door swung open almost instantly. Remara stormed inside.

“You… have not… made your sacrifices…” she fumed, at the bewildered warlocks.

“We… we have! We all made…” said one.

“NOT ENOUGH!” Remara bellowed.

“But…”

“I can not afford any mistakes. My power is waning with the mistress’s. And if you don’t get more sacrifices, then you will be subject to UNENDING PAIN! DO YOU UNDERSTAND?”

“Y… yes…”

Remara stormed out the way she came.

“Woh. She is way hotter without that hood on than I thought she’d be,” said one of the warlocks.

“Shut up. We… we need sacrifices,” said another.

“Where are we meant to find them?”

“Everywhere. Do whatever you can… maybe call out the assassins.”

“We don’t have enough money.”

“Who said anything about paying?”

Some of the warlocks grinned.

This was power, and this was theirs.

“Ow… ow… too tight…” said Serrus.

“I think that’s the point,” said Teraura, “It’s meant to accentuate… your… er… upper torso.”

“… Why am I doing this? Why isn’t Drakaya being Lady Sara?”

“First, because you wouldn’t be disguised and therefore we’d lose a rather important member. Second, I wanted to test that potion. Third, Darokh’s a dark elf, so Drakaya wouldn’t match, and fourth… it’s hilarious,” said Teraura, sniggering as she looked at Serrus’s getup.

“Not for me,” said Drakaya.

“That maid outfit looks good on you, Drak,” said Teraura.

“Just shut up… I don’t see why I have to do this. I mean, we’re not in character yet, or anything.”

“Someone has to tie our corsets, and it’s not like we have any real maids in the guild.”

“Look, I don’t want it to be ‘our’ corsets. I’m still not used to this,” said Serrus. He glanced down at his new body, and shuddered slightly.

“Oh, come on. It’s easy,” said Teraura, “It’s not that hard to act.”

“Easy for you, maybe,” mumbled Drakaya, “I mean, you get to be the aristocrats and I’m stuck mopping floors…”

“Blah, blah, blah… god, stop complaining!”

“They made me do the washing up! ME! A HIGH ELF!”

“They’re getting you into character. I imagine you’d normally be annoyed, if you were born a maid.”

“… anyway, if you do get too annoyed, you’ve always got your fireballs. You’re a maidmage. Or something,” said Serrus.

“You’ll make a clean sweep of them!” screeched Teraura.

Drakaya and Serrus both looked unimpressed.

“As long as you avoid any more puns like that, I’ll stop complaining,” said Teraura.

“Yeah. Me too,” agreed Serrus.

“Good. Now help me get this dress on, Drak,” said Teraura.

“Oh, come on… you can get that on by yourself!”

“If I start acting in character, you’ll have to as well.”

“Don’t start,” said Drakaya and Serrus in unison.

Teraura looked at their faces. And burst out laughing.

After about a minute, she walked into the nearby bathroom, presumably to try to clean up. They could still hear her, though.

“I haven’t seen her laugh this much in… well, it must be more than 20 years,” said Drakaya.

“Wait… you mean you saw her laughing as a baby?” said Serrus, confused.

“Oh, no. She seems to age a lot slower than most people… she looked like a ten year old the last time I saw her laugh. It’s kinda odd. I mean, she’s aging faster than a human, but slower than an elf or dwarf.”

“Maybe she’s a hybrid?”

“She isn’t, we’ve checked. There isn’t anything on her body to indicate any resemblance to anything other than a human. And we can’t check her parents, she ran away from home years ago and she refuses to talk about them.”

“Can’t you just use a spell or something?”

“Well, I can’t, but we got one of the more experienced magi in to try. It fizzled, so either her parents are dead or have completely forgotten her.”“Sorry, I haven’t laughed this hard for years,” said Teraura, finally emerging,

“Yeah, Drak told me. 20 years, was it?” said Serrus.

Teraura shot Drakaya an angry look.

“Serrus? Would you mind if I had a little talk with Drakaya for a few seconds?” asked Teraura.

“Um… no, I guess,” he said.

The two girls went into a corner. Serrus tried not to listen, but he caught a few words, like “… said you’d never say…” and “…why does it matter? It’s not like…” before the girls came back.

“If you tell anyone…I’ll kill you,” said Teraura

“Come on, Teraura… it’s not that big!” said Drakaya.

“No, you wouldn’t. You’d be kicked out of the guild onto the streets,” said Serrus.

“No. No, I wouldn’t kill you. I just might become forgetful and completely forget everything I know about making your antidote,” retorted Teraura.

Serrus gasped. “You wouldn’t.”

“Wouldn’t I?”

“You can’t. Darokh would get angry.”

Teraura raised an eyebrow. “You think he’ll care? As far as he can tell, he’s made life a lot easier for you by breaking you out of jail and basically removing your bounty.”

“No, no. I’ll complain.”

“No. You won’t. If you do, I will kill you, even if I get kicked out. But who cares? All this can be avoided if you just… don’t… tell.”

Serrus and Teraura glared at each other.

“Right. Um, I think we should head to Darokh now,” said Drakaya. Serrus and Teraura ignored her.

“Come on… let’s just leave this alone for a while… please?” begged Drakaya.

“Fine. We’ll leave it alone for now,” said Serrus, “Truce?”

“Fine.”

Drakaya breathed a sigh of relief.

After a tense walk to Darokh’s office, the three of them entered.

“Ah. Lady Sara, I presume,” said Darokh.

“Yes. Yes, I suppose so…” said Serrus.

“Teraura, if anyone asks, your name is Aurabelle. Make up a last name if it matters. Drakaya, as a servant, I’d assume you’ll be gossiping a lot. Keep an ear out for anything important. And tell the other servants that your name is… oh, just make it Maisie.”

“Um… isn’t that a bit of an inconsistency? That’s a human name, and I’m not one. I can’t imagine there’d be many high elf servants, either,” said Drakaya.

“I’ve prepared for this… Drakaya, just stand still,” Darokh replied.

Darokh touched each of Drakaya’s long ears. They shortened. Drakaya became a lot plainer, in terms of how she looked. She was still attractive, but not especially. Her face had become a lot less refined, but had become slightly rounder. Her hair became a mousy brown, and tied itself into a bun. A few freckles appeared. Her face even became a little bit dirtier.

Serrus and Teraura stared.

“What… what are you staring at?” asked Drakaya.

“How… how…” blubbered Teraura.

“As Drakaya said, there aren’t any high elf maids. So… she’s still technically a high elf, but you look human,” explained Darokh.

“Um… so why isn’t Teraura the maid? She’s already human,” said Serrus.

“Because each of you has your specialties. And if I’m right… the entire magic field here should be weakening… and yes, there it goes.”

Teraura’s ears popped up a bit.

“Wait, you’re making her an elf now?” said Drakaya.

“No. Teraura was born like this. We… that is to say, the Assassin’s council… believe she is a hybrid,” replied Darokh, “possibly illegitimate. To keep this from the rest of the guild, we’ve had a constant channeled effect active on her.

“Wait, wait. What… what if she recognizes me?” asked Teraura. A hint of nervousness entered her voice.

“Ah. Good point…” said Darokh, “Just hold still.”

Teraura’s straight, blonde hair pulled itself out of its usual ponytail and became black and curled. Her ears pulled themselves even longer to match Serrus’s. Markings appeared on her hands. They appeared on her chest and legs, but this wasn’t visible because they were covered by the dress.

“Haha, sweet! I’m a dark elf!” she said.

“Drakaya, Serrus, Teraura. None of you look like you did before. You must keep appearances up at all times. There is to be no out of character conversation at all. We may be spied upon. This is a very…very… very dangerous assignment. Anything… anything at all that might give us away… or anything that even makes them suspect… cannot be tolerated. We have actually gone to the effort of moving an entire half village when I supposedly forced them to. The villagers surrounding the castle are angry. They are angry at us. Mostly at me, but they are enraged at anyone who has supported ‘Lord Daryun’. Naturally that includes my daughter, and my wife,” said Darokh.

“Wife?”

“Yes. This is Merrissa,” said Darokh.

“Who?”

A dark elven woman entered.

“Hello, Sara, Aurabelle,” she said. Darokh whispered something and the woman froze.

“She is real. She knows nothing of this act. The less of our people we can involve, the better.”

“But… why… is she here?”

“She believes she is my wife. She believes she is your mother. She believes she has a maid called Maisie, although she would never admit that she knows your name. She believes her daughter’s lady-in-waiting is Aurabelle,” explained Darokh,

“Who… who is she?” asked Serrus.

“To be honest, I’m not sure. She was just a beggar, and she said she’ll do anything for money. When we are done with her, she will go back to the gutter without any memory of this, but more than 20000 eru richer.”

“Where did you get 20000 eru?”

“Oh, the assassin’s guild has its supporters,” said Darokh, dismissively, “but never mind. The portal is almost ready.”

“O…kay, then.”

“We will keep Merrissa frozen until we enter the castle. We will have to leave from the back, otherwise the peasants will… and I mean this with all honesty, they will annihilate us.”

“Oh,” said Serrus. He began to sound worried.

“We should leave as soon as possible. The peasants may soon break down the door,” said Darokh.

“Er. Okay,” said Serrus.

*

The woman lounged on the skulled throne

“Now, I notice not everyone is here,” said the woman.

“Um, no… I’m… I think…” said the former leader.

“And what a pity, because… now you are to become truly powerful.”

The dozen or so remaining vampires looked up.

“If you wish to leave, you may leave. But if you wish to become the most powerful magi ever… you may want to stay.”

“I’ll stay,” said one.

“I am staying,” said another.

One by one, they all accepted. Except the former leader.

“I… I don’t know…” he said.

“Then leave. There is no room for uncertainty.”

“Er. I’ll do it. But… um… can I go last?”

“There is no room for uncertainty.”

“So I can’t just go last?”

Stop asking, said the woman. Her mouth didn’t move.

“But… but I…”

ENOUGH!

The former leader dropped dead on the spot.

The remaining members looked up in fear.

“You too can gain this tremendous power. But… we need sacrifices. Human or any sapient beings. And this first time…I will deliver them for you. But from now on, you will have to make your own.”

Some of the more power-hungry vampires looked up with anticipation.

“Now. Those cowardly brethren who deserted us. I will bring them here. They… they will be our first source of power.

NOW! RETURN TO ME, TRAITORS OF DARKNESS!, shouted the woman. She didn’t say it, exactly. It went directly into their minds.

The former members of the brotherhood of the night appeared. Most were sleeping, but one or two were waking up.

Follow my lead.

“Sertsim krad ruo fo irolg genidnenu et rof,” she said out loud. She then knelt down, pulled out an obsidian dagger, and plunged it into one of the former member’s chests.

“Wodas ni delrow et revok dena niaga esir sertsim et tel.”

And she ripped out the man’s heart, thrusting it into the air above her.

“Wodas et esaeler ot redro ni rewop ithgimla re fo emos niag em tel!” she shouted.

The man’s heart shriveled. Her eyes glowed red.

“This… this is the essence of being a warlock. You gain all the magical and physical endurance and energy the victim had. And you never… ever… lose power. When you have sacrificed even ten victims, you will be more powerful than any mage in the world!”

There was cheering.

“Now. Sacrifice your own from among here. And don’t all rush. Form a line… no, two lines. Yes, find a partner. And stand next to – NO TALKING! Look, ANY noise can distract you, and you might find your own vitality being drained. Now be careful. If you let yourself be drained, it is your fault.”

One by one, the vampiric warlocks drained souls. The amount of dead ex-members was much more than the survivors, so each person alive drained about three souls.

“Now. You are four times more powerful than you were when you arrived. Aren’t you glad you came?”

There was cheering.

“But… we owe all our powers to the Dark Mistress. Without her, you wouldn’t have this. If you want to amplify your powers best, you must make a sacrifice at dusk, midnight, and dawn.”

More cheering.

“But… if you ever betray any of us… you die. That is the warlock’s code.”

*

Drakaya slammed the carriage door shut behind them.

“I cannot believe they’d do this!” said Merrissa, as the carriage they were in started off.

“Neither can I, my dear, but in some ways they are justified,” said Darokh.

“Well… yes, you did tax them kind of hard,” said Serrus, “I mean… 50% of their income is quite a lot.”

“Oh, they hardly earn anything anyway. A few less eru cannot hurt.”

Drakaya muttered something under her breath.

“Urgh, why is she even in here? Can she not sit with the driver?” asked Merrissa, as though Drakaya’s presence was insulting.

“Oh, come on. She hasn’t done anything,” said Teraura.

“Er, dear…” said Merrissa, “Why is Aurabelle here?”

“My parents were lynched…” replied Teraura. She said it as though she was genuinely sad, and with good reason. She’d been practicing for about 20 minutes straight.

“Oh. I’m sorry,” said Merrissa, without a trace of sorrow in her voice.

“I think we should head to Dadæf and request sanctuary. I believe the nobles there have sympathy to people in our situation, ever since a mob killed the king more than forty years ago,” said Darokh.

“Oh. How horrible.”

“Yes, it is rather. But it benefits us. We should be safe…”

Serrus tuned out to Darokh’s role-playing ramble and pulled out the assignment. He read through his sections of it, most particularly the part involving what happened immediately after the coach ride.

Upon entering the palace, Sara and Aurabelle will retire to their rooms. Maisie will go to the kitchens and volunteer to help however is needed.

“Um… father, can we speak privately for a moment?” said Serrus.

“Certainly. Just one second.” Darokh whispered the words again, and Merrissa froze.

“What is it, Serrus? We cannot afford this. We may be spied upon even now,” he said.

“Well…” said Serrus, wringing his hands, “Why does it need to refer to us as our… well, aliases?”

“Even if we are captured, then… well, they are going to find the instructions useless.”
”But… wait, why… how did you change Drak and me?” said Teraura. “There’s no magic that can change how people look on that scale.”

“There’s also no magic that can wipe someone’s memory, and then give it back to them,” added Serrus.

“No. No, there isn’t.”

“How… how do you do it?” said Drakaya.

“Drakaya… I am sorry for this. But we will give change you back afterwards… and we cannot afford anything at all that will give us away,” said Darokh, and he waved a hand in front of her face. It blanked, and then Merrissa unfroze.

“Urgh, I feel rather sick…” said Merrissa.

“Would you like me to fetch something from the driver, ma’am?”

“What on earth would the driver have, girl! Just find me a bucket!”

“There’s nothing in the carriage, ma’am,” said Drakaya.

“Then pull over, and find me somewhere to be sick!”

The carriage stopped, and Drakaya helped Merrissa out.

“What the hell did you do to her?” asked Teraura, angrily.

“It’s… simple. I just adjusted some small parts of her mind,” said Darokh.

“You… didn’t wipe her memory or anything, right?” asked Teraura, angrily.

“Oh, no, of course not. She merely will act more docile, and more in character. She is still the same person. Oh, and I slightly adjusted the speech parts of her brain, so she’ll sound more polite and less pompous,” he explained.

“You… you messed with her mind?” said Teraura.

“Yes. It is for the good of the assignment. I should do the same thing for you, Serrus. Teraura, however, is fine. She knows how to act as a court lady. You, Serrus… for obvious reasons, do not.”

“Oh,” he said.

“This will not hurt,” said Darokh, with all honesty.

Serrus braced himself…

…and then opened his eyes.

He had a moment of discomfort as the two personalities clashed…

… And then it was over.

“Oh, no… I’m going to act like a spoilt daughter now, aren’t I…? How much have you done?”

“Not much. I’ve merely made you… well, more ladylike.”

“Look, how did you do that? There isn’t any magic that can do that. Magic cannot affect the mind. I know that,” said Serrus.

“Well, no. But this isn’t exactly magic,” said Darokh.

“What… what is it then?”

“Now isn’t the time.”

“Um, sir, ma’am…” said Drakaya, “Would you mind coming outside? Her ladyship has down a hill.” God, this is embarrassing.

“Sorry?” said Serrus.

“Her ladyship has fallen down a hill, ma’am.” Are you deaf?

Um… Drakaya?  thought Serrus.

Serrus? What are you doing in my mind? came the petulant reply.

Er, I don’t think I am. Er, it’s confusing… said Serrus.

“Aurabelle, would you mind heading outside to help Merrissa?” said Darokh.

Oh, god, we got telepathy from somewhere. This is such a… began Drakaya.

Um, guys? I can hear you, said Teraura.

Oh. Maybe it’s so we can talk without breaking our cover…? thought Serrus.

How is Darokh doing this? This is impossible!

Nothing is impossible.

Oh, shut up, Serrus.

Look… I feel weird. I got two completely different personalities colliding, but… it gets confusing, because they’re both me. What am I meant to do?

Just… try to oppress the original you, I guess. Which one’s more important for the assignment?

Well… “Lady Sara”, I guess. Wait, why am I “lady” when Darokh’s “married” to “Merrissa”?

You have an impressive mind, Serrus. I’ve never met anyone who could pronounce so many inverted commas in one thought sentence, thought Drakaya..

Oh, who cares? I’ve just found Merrissa, thought Teraura, and she’s lying on top of a pile of cow dung… which is covered in her own vomit.

Urgh, too much information, thought Drakaya.

Heh, I just thought you should know, seeing as you’re the one who has to wipe it off.

Serrus couldn’t see Drakaya’s… or technically Maisie’s face, but he was sure that she’d just winced.

*

“Vana… you… little brat…”

“I GOT YOUR NOSE!”

“Give it back. Now.”

“Haha, not gonna.”

Albërcht made another swipe at Vana. She dodged again.

“I got your stinky, rotten nose! Heh, it’s dripping!”

“Give it back!”

“Nope!”

Vana ran around the room carrying Albërcht’s nose in her left hand.

“Look, why do you even want it?”

“Cuz it’s squishy!”

“Give… it… back!”

“No!”

Vana stood up on the nearby table.

“No, no… don’t go up there…”

“Na, na, nana, na!”

Vana fell off.

“Oh, no… oh no, oh no, oh no…”

“Heh… heh…”

“What… are you…”

“I am fine, Albërcht.”

“V… Vana?”

“I…feel different.”

“Vana… you… er… h- how?”

Vana stood up.

“Urgh, what… what’s happened?”

“Um. It’s… hard… you…”

“Albërcht? Are you alright?”

“But… but…”

“What? Come on, don’t clam up?”

“You’re… you’re…”

“WHAT? I’m… no, I can’t be,” said Vana, and she ran across into her own room.

Albërcht blinked to make sure he had been correct.

“No… how could this… how could it happen?”

“Oh… my. I’m…”

Vana looked down at herself.

Albërcht stared at her.

She had changed in a lot of ways.

For one thing, her clothes didn’t fit any more.

“I’m… well… I’m…” she said.

“Are you? Is… is it you, Vana?” stammered Albërcht.

“Er. It seems so.”

Vana had gone from a petulant 3 year old toddler to a 19 year old girl in under five seconds.

“How… how could this happen?”

“I… I suppose… maybe… maybe you’ve been disguised from something for this whole time. And… maybe this… maybe someone has… maybe someone else is after you.”

“Correct.”

“Re… Remara?”

Albërcht turned around slowly

“Remara? Why… why are you here?”

“I merely wanted to see the girl. I anticipated something like this… I’ve been keeping an eye on you, Vana. You’ve had a rather odd aura on you these last forty years. Keeping you a three year old? Very, very impressive.”

“For… forty?” stammered Vana.

“Yes. I believe you are illegitimate, and possibly half elven. And if you are exactly as I believe… well, we’ll just have to wait for the other one.”

And Remara strode off.

“Something… something creepy is happening,” whispered Vana.

“I know. Someone is after you… I suppose… well, the people who were protecting you… if their aura is no longer affecting you… they must be dead,” said Albërcht.

Remara paused at the door.

“Two birds with one stone,” she muttered, and she left.

*

“Oh… no. The aura is down,” said Darokh.

“Whose aura?” said Serrus.

“Are… are you alright, my dear?” asked Merrissa.

“I am. But… she isn’t,” Darokh said.

“Er… okay, my dear,” said Merrissa, as the coach trundled further and further away from the castle.

He had outlasted many rulers, for he was a zombie.

He had occupied the same job for more than 600 years, and wanted to keep it this way. He was making maximum use of his position. Alvas had had many affairs, and even after the coma, had continued in this habit. Most of these had resulted in odd mutations that had mysteriously disappeared… probably for work on the mines in the more distant areas of the state ruled by Alvas.

Since Alvas’s coma, and subsequent death, he had been manipulating the only heir to the throne. Well… that was technically not true. There was another, but she had disappeared more than 16 years ago. Anyway, she would have been unsuitable… she was technically a half-elf, but the human side had dominated her appearance. An illegitimate half-elf child would cause a massive uproar in the higher-class parts of town.

There were rumours circulating the girl’s disappearance. Some said she had become sick of the life of royalty and ended up committing suicide. Others claimed she was simply plotting to get the throne back. Others still believed she was involved in an intricate conspiracy, and she was another poor beggar, but kept well off by beggar standards, for the day she might be used.

Alvas had known where she was. It was well known among the community leaders – in other words, the people who can afford the most mercenaries – that more than 200 thousand eru went to an unknown fund each year. And this was Alvas’s only secret. He must have been incredibly embarrassed, and gone to massive lengths to prevent anyone finding out where the money was going.

In the time between his waking up from the coma and his death, the number of unexplained deaths in the cities had increased massively.

Oh, well. That was the past. The present is all that matters.

He turned to a filing cabinet, and opened up a drawer.

“What’re you doing, greyby?” said a small, but prominent, voice behind him.

“It does not concern you, Vana,” said Albërcht, pausing, and then closing the drawer.

“But Remi says because I’m the queen I has to know everything going on.”

“You are not queen yet.” And if I have a chance, she never will be, thought Schnübertzen.

The small princess stared at her feet for a while. Alvas had enjoyed her company, as much as was possible while he was mute. Albërcht had a different opinion.

“If you don’t leave me alone right now –”

“I got new boots.”

Albërcht sighed. Vana seemed to have the attention span of a goldfish.

“Please leave me alone.”

“Your ear is falling off again.”

“Close your mouth.”

“NO! I DON’T WANNA!” said Vana, bursting into tears.

“Ah. Albërcht,” said another female voice, although this one wasn’t coming from a three-year old.

He sighed yet again.

“Yes?”

“Vana said you said you’d kill her if she didn’t shut up.”

“What? How would you know, Remara? You weren’t there.”

“True, but I know you did it. You’re predictable, Al.” said the woman. She was human, and looked about 25, but nevertheless had an air of knowingness and wisdom.

She was technically a semi-demigod. Among other things, this meant she had lived for as long as Albërcht had unlived.

They had been very good friends, but recently, a feud had sprung up between them. Albërcht saw Vana as a hindrance to prevent his rule. Remara, on the other hand, saw the girl as an opportunity to “get the city back on the right lines” and was trying to force her into power.

Albërcht was not popular. The only reason that he hadn’t been assassinated yet is that someone, about 650 years ago, already had.

Remara was gaining support every day. Albërcht knew if he attempted to seize power, Remara’s supporters would destroy him and his vision.

But… maybe, just maybe… the girl could be useful. Maybe Remara was right… in a way. Young minds are easily manipulated.

“Vana?”

“What, greyby?”

Albërcht shuddered. While he hated the rudeness of the girl, she did have a point.

He was grey in quite a few places.

“It’s time you got educated. Come here.”

*

Serrus woke up on a makeshift bed in Drakaya and Teraura’s room. The two girls were asleep. By the light coming from the window, it seemed very early morning, 5:30 at latest.

He got up. He looked in disgust at the patterns on the girl’s beds, and then stood up.

He tried to open the door, but it was locked.  He looked for his lockpicks, didn’t find them, and swore.

His voice came out odd.
Probably a cold? He thought.

The noise awoke the two girls. Teraura opened her eyes, slowly, and blearily. Then she opened them fully, and gasped.

Drakaya mumbled something along the lines of “h’vn’t h’d m’ beauty sl’p,” before being shaken awake by Teraura, who seemed ecstatic about something.

Serrus watched bemusedly.   

“By Narutia… I never thought it’d work!” said Teraura, pumping both fists jubilantly in the air.

“Who is Narutia, anyway?” said Serrus. His voice was still odd.

“The one true god,” said Teraura. Drakaya rolled her eyes.

“Um… o…kay…” said Serrus, a little concerned now.

“Heh… we better show Darokh this. He’ll be impressed.”

“Look, what’ve you done to me? It was that potion thingy you gave me last night, wasn’t it?”

“Well… to put it one way… those clothes don’t suit you. I mean, they looked fine…” Drakaya added, seeing Serrus rise up angrily, “but… now they don’t.”

“So that’s all you did? You changed how my clothes look?”

“Um… no. It’d be more accurate to say that you don’t suit your clothes,” said Teraura, rather nervously.

“What do you mean?”

“There’s a mirror in the bathroom down the hall,” said Drakaya.

“The door’s locked.”

“No, it isn’t.”

Serrus tried the door. It yielded easily.

He left.

After a few seconds, the two girls heard a scream.

“Come on, pay up,” said Drakaya.

“Fine… I really thought he’d take it better,” said Teraura, handing Drakaya a few coins, “I mean… what’s so bad about it?”

“He’ll soon realise it’s for the better.”

“I hope so.”

Drakaya wolf-whistled.

“Hey, come on. You gotta feel a bit sorry for him.”

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?” shouted Serrus, as he ran back to the girl’s room.

“Um,” said Teraura, “Er… Darokh wanted to get you out of the guild… and, like he said… he had a special mission.”

“I want my me back…”

“Um. It’s gonna take me a while…I mean, I can’t just reverse the old one. I’d need to make a new potion based on the old one,” she said.

“And… how long will that take…?”

“Um. About… er. A month.”

“WHAAAAT? I’M STUCK LIKE THIS FOR A MONTH?”

“Yeah,” said Drakaya, “but really… you should go see Darokh now. You’re still humanoid, and still a dark elf. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Serrus whimpered.

“…but… I’m… a boy…” he said.

“You were a boy. Anyway, seeing as you’ve changed, you don’t have to deal with your bounty,” said Drakaya, “and as Teraura said…those clothes don’t suit you. I probably have some stuff that’ll fit you.”

Serrus looked down. It wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been. At least he still looked good.

In a different way,

“These… these are mine…?” he stammered.

“No, we cut off someone else’s,” said Drakaya, sarcastically, “of course they’re yours. You’ll get used to them… but still…”

“But what?”

“I’m not letting you use one of my bras. You’ll have to buy your own.”

*

A woman, cloaked in black, moved swiftly through the early morning streets of Arakan, eventually coming to what was referred to as the slum districts. She reached a wall in an alley. She pushed on a brick that it clearly took some time to find.

Nothing happened. The woman swore.

“…damn alleys… they all look the same at this time of morning…” she muttered. She went out, looked around a bit, and found another alley.

She pushed a brick. A pitfall opened up underneath her.

She had jumped, though, and was now hanging off a narrow windowsill.

“Come on, lemme in already!” she said, “my arms are sore today. And I’m hungry.”

There was a pause.

“Look, I didn’t mean it like that. Just let me in.”

“Long time between dwarves, eh?” said a joking voice from a hidden door in the wall.

“… it wasn’t a dwarf. You know that. Dwarves taste of rat,” said another voice.

“Look, lemme in!”

“Why doncha stop hanging and just hover?”

“I’m a werewolf, not a vampire.”

“It’s not easy as a vampire, either,” said the second voice.

“I know. I can’t get the damn mites away. Being in a metre of a dog leaves me itching for weeks,” said a third.

“Oh, shut up. You can’t shapeshift,” the woman said.

“Stop it, you know she’s a werewolf,” said yet another.

“Yes! Just let me in!”

“Fine.”

The brick wall swung away.

The woman jumped surprisingly easily into the cavern behind the wall.

“Okay, am I late?” she said, only just noticing the group of hooded people surrounding her.

“No, but… you should feel privileged. We are all vampires. You are the first werewolf. And the first female.”

“I call the meeting of the brotherhood of the night together,” said an intimidating and booming voice. The members looked up at a throne made of skulls, on which the presumable leader was sitting. It would be more impressive if it wasn’t monkey skulls, but none of the members tended to concern themselves with primate anatomy.

The woman coughed.

“Look, we’re not going to call it the brother-and-sisterhood, are we?” said the leader, in a rather more normal voice, “I mean… there’s only one sister, right?”

“So far, yes,” she said, “but why not change it?”

“Well, firstly it’s been called the brotherhood for eons untold…” said the leader.

“January last year,” said one of the crowd members.

“…and because, like I said, you’re the only sister.”

“You want that to change?”

“What? How’re you gonna do that?”

“Let’s just say I kick really hard somewhere on your person. Then you lose everything that makes you a man, right?”

“There’s no need for threats. You are nearly our equal.”

“Nearly? So you still think you’re superior to me?”

“Yes. We are more powerful, and you are of the weaker sex.”

“Look, I’m the only one with real powers here. You’re just a bunch of dark elves with weird hairdos and fake canines.”

“She dares… she dares insult… us?” said one.

“Yeah. I dare insult you.”

“You may be able to shapeshift, but we are at least as talented at you at magic. And we outnumber you 50 to one,” said another vampire.

“Yeah? Well. I got one advantage,” said the werewolf, “and it’s this.”

“Oh, yes? What is it?”

There was a flash of light. And then there were 50 piles of ash.

The werewolf cut her little finger’s tip. A drop of blood fell on one of the piles.

“Now. I’ll be back tomorrow morning,” she whispered in the ear of the just resurrected leader, “and I expect an improvement of behaviour to your new leader.”

“But… but how… it’s just light… we’re just… dark elves… like you said…”

“Oh, not anymore. Now… you are true children of the night,” said the werewolf, and with that, she morphed into her wolf form right in front of his eyes.  And leapt out of the cavern.

The vampire looked at his paled skin. And swore.

“Urgh, you idiots,” he said to the piles of ash, “I told you we never should’ve invited a woman to join.”

“Yeah, well hurry up and resurrect us already!” said one of the piles.

There was general agreement.

The reason women have never been admitted to proper magical institutions is that all the men are worried they’ll turn out to be much better at it than them.

*

Darokh was going through some paperwork in his office. It was very dreary stuff, though, and so he was surprisingly happy to see Serrus enter.

“Serrus? That is you?” he asked.

“Yeah, it’s me. I wish it wasn’t, though,’ said Serrus.

“Right. Here are your instructions,” said Darokh, handing Serrus a sealed envelope, “but it refers to everyone in third person, and in public from now you will be referred to as Sara. We have many operatives working on this and it would be best if none of them truly knew who you were. I believe many of them are trustworthy, but this is a very important assignment, and we cannot afford any mistakes or traitors. 50000 eru is a lot of money, and we’d rather no-one was tempted. Please return to Drakaya and Teraura’s room and show them the instructions, after you have all read this please return here. After you are done here for the second time, an experienced portal mage –“

“So not Drakaya?”

“No. Not Drakaya… anyway, an experienced portal mage will teleport you to your first destination. Quite a lot of this is assignment is simply backstory, but it will all help if you are actually identifiable as your part in the assignment and not simply some pompous dark elf.”

“Um. Right,” said “Sara”, and he, or depending on your point of view, she, walked off, rather bewildered.

*

Albërcht sighed.

“Say it once more, and then you can go play.”

“Um… okay. Though…”

“Throw.”

“Throw… them… inna… dung gong,” said Vana.

“Dungeon.”

“Dungong.”

“Dun-john.”

“Dung-gong.”

Albërcht sighed again. “It’ll do. Now run along and get yourself out of my hair,” he said.

“You don’t have any hair,” said Vana.

“Figure of speech.”

“Greyby? What’s a figure?

“It does not concern you.”

“What’s a concern?”

“Just leave me alone.”

Vana stuck out her tongue, and then left.

Just a few more days… Albërcht thought, and the city… will be mine.

*

“What’d he say?” said Teraura, as Serrus entered the room.

“Well… this is the briefing, I guess. Oh, and apparently you have to call me Sara from now on,” said Serrus, wincing.

“Lemme see that,” said Drakaya, snatching the envelope off him.

She ripped it open, and upon seeing the letter, said “No… way…”

“What? What does it say?” said Teraura, eagerly.

“No. I’m not doing this. Just… no. No way,” said Drakaya, solemnly passing the paper to Teraura.

Teraura cracked up laughing. Drakaya glared at her.

“Look, it’s not funny!”

“I’ll let Lady Sara be the judge of that,” said Teraura, winking at Serrus as she passed it to him. Serrus raised an eyebrow.

The letter read:

Assignment: to infiltrate the palace, raise a diversion, and convince the captain of the guard to abolish the bounty on Serrus.

Method: Serrus enters the town under the guise of Lady Sara, the daughter of Lord Daryun (Darokh). Lady Sara’s lady-in-waiting (Teraura), and maid (Drakaya) will accompany her. S, T, Da and Dr will be teleported out of the city. Upon entering, go to Dadæf Palace and request sanctuary on the grounds of a peasant rebellion…

The instructions went on for more than three pages.

“Oh, well. It could be worse,” said Teraura to Drakaya.

“Oh, really? How?’

“You could’ve been ‘her ladyship’s’ scullery maid.”

Drakaya shuddered.

“Don’t… don’t even talk about that. Okay?”

Teraura stuck out her tongue, then fell backwards on her bed laughing.

Forty-two years later.

Serrus left Rivia on lookout at the door, then snuck through to the room that Alvas’ treasure was meant to be in. He got a handful of a dust that was pure black from his pocket, and threw it in the air, trying his hardest not to make a sound.

The dust revealed two indistinct figures, but both were clearly wearing robes.  Stealth magi as guards… it would be too easy.

He knew that they waited for you to find them, then when you inadvertently stumbled onto or into them, their massive amounts of defensive spells would trigger. He had been prepared, however, and silently, being cautious to remain out of sight, he coated his two daggers with Rosethorn, one of the only poisons known to completely neutralise magic. For a few seconds, anyway.

It didn’t matter. Assassins generally don’t need more than half a minute to terminate someone.

He snuck around them as well as he could. Then he plunged the dagger into the back of the first one, whirled around, and stabbed the second. At least, he tried to.

The daggers bent, but the poison affected the magic field around the two mages, and revealed their true forms. Massive four legged, reptilian creatures. They were both red, and both angry. But the red did mean one thing – they were fire wyrmkin, and therefore weak to frost magic.

Serrus wasn’t a frost mage, and he’d left all his frost poisons at his lodgings in the Assassin’s quarter. He still had help.

“Rivia!” he shouted, as the two dragonkin advanced on him.

Rivia heard her master’s name, and came flapping into the room.

“Frrrrrwiiiiiiii!” she frrrrrwiiiiiiii-ed furiously, as the cone of cold emerged from her mouth and froze the two fire wyrmkin in place.

“Good girl,” said Serrus, running back into the first room as quietly as he could. He jumped out the window. It was the third storey up, but he knew how to land softly.

He sprained his ankle, though, because he wasn’t as informed about landing on trolls. Especially not the ones that then handcuff him and bring him to the City Watch’s headquarters in Dedæf Yard.

Six hours later he was walking back towards the Assassin’s Guild headquarters. That had been annoying… the Watch these days was harder to buy off.

That watchman guarding his cell would be disappointed when he tried to spend those coins, because they were a fairly obvious forgery that most people could spot. Evidently not that watchman, though.

He found the spot. It was marked, but very barely.

It was only here that he could cast the spell. His hands glowed, the black markings on his hands beginning to glow. They glowed on his chest and legs too, but those were covered.

He went pure white… and vanished.

*

Drakaya was in her room in the dorms, but even so, she could tell Serrus was back. It wasn’t hard, though. He constantly emitted a kind of “I’m here” aura, that let you know whenever he was in the same building as you. He wasn’t tricky to spot in a crowd, either. He tended to wear black – not unusual for assassins – but his black was… blacker. He was astonishingly handsome, and he had those markings. And the pointed ears were a bit of a giveaway. It all came together to form one simple idea.

Dark elf.

Vampires had been mentioned to Drakaya, but she knew they weren’t real. They were just the less civil dark elves, the ones that enjoyed preying upon humans. And, presumably, wearing their collars turned up, those horrible V shaped haircuts, and avoiding the sun.

Dark elves tended to avoid the sun anyway. The real reason was that they actually just get sunburnt easily.

Drakaya never got sunburnt. Sunburned just wouldn’t look good.

High elves like to look good.

She sighed. She’d have to confront him about the conditioner eventually.

It’s not like he doesn’t have his own stash, she thought.

She was getting hungry, and poison theory isn’t that interesting.

She stood up, and teleported through the wall.

She didn’t quite have the hang of teleport magic yet, so she was stuck in the next wall along for three hours before someone got her out.

*

“Hey, Victor,” said Serrus, sitting down at the bench in the canteen.

“Hey. How’re ya going?” said Victor. He was on a raised stool – there really wasn’t any other ways for Dwarves to reach the tables – and was eating some indistinguishable food. It looked vaguely like meat.

“Could be better. The Watch arrested me…”

“That’s… what. The sixth time this month?” said Victor.

“Seventh.”

“Exactly. You’re playing it too risky. You’re still just a student…”

Victor waited for a response. It didn’t seem like he was getting one.

“Serrus? Are you there?”

“Huh?” he said. Drakaya had entered the room. It was a large room, so he’d been straining his neck to get a better view.

“Is that why you’ve been trying to get into Alvas’ stash?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You’re trying to impress her, aren’t you?

Serrus looked embarrassed for a moment. Then he lowered his voice slightly.

“In Alvas’ treasure, there’s a high elven ring. It used to belong to her father. No-one knows how he got it, but no-one’s proved anything, so it seems legal. That’s the thing. If I can get it back, we might be able to prove something… and it’d make a great gift for her, too.”

“Right… but… Oh, nevermind. Wait… where’s your dragon?”

“… I haven’t seen Rivia since that troll arrested me…”

Drakaya had walked up to their table. Serrus almost blushed.

“Serrus?” she said coldly, “A dragon whelpling was flapping around at the portal. I’d assume she was yours, but I’m sure someone as responsible as you couldn’t possibly lose a dragon. So I handed her into the Watch… seeing as she was used in the committing of a crime. I heard they have a werewolf officer now… they’d be able to track you down from just one thing you’ve touched. For example… a baby dragon?”

Serrus had gone as white as a sheet. Well… some sheets. White ones, anyway. Probably not Victor’s, though.

“Although, however, I may be able to help you recover your dragon… unfortunately, my father claims that for a high elf… appearance is everything. And I just happen to have run out of conditioner. You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find any, would you?”

“… I think so…” said Serrus. How had she found out?

“Could you show me where?”

Twelve minutes later, Serrus had led her to his room. It was quite a way away – the boys and girls rooms at the Assassin’s Guild were separated by quite a large distance.

“This is where you live?” said Drakaya. There was an expression of disgust on her face.

“Look, I share this room with a dwarf. He never tidies up.”

“Ah. So where have you put the conditioner?”

Serrus muttered something under his breath. The bed vanished.

There was a safe on the floor. He opened it carefully, then pulled out the box.

He passed it to Drakaya.

“All your stair huff is in there.”

“What?”

“Slip of the tongue. I meant hair stuff. All of it. Now give me Rivia.”

“What? I didn’t lie. The Watch has her.”

“WHAT? Wasn’t that just a ploy to get your conditioner back?” blurted Serrus.

“No. Do you want my help or not?”

“…” said Serrus.

He was feeling unusually conflicted. He was really annoyed at Drakaya, but he couldn’t help looking forward to looking for Rivia… together.

Urgh. I’m a dark elf, he told himself, I do NOT, under any circumstances, enjoy spending time with a high elf.

Am I sure?

No. But that’s what I should be like.

“But you do enjoy it. I can tell,” said Drakaya, “Personally, I can’t see why.”

“… Look, being around you is just too confusing. Could we just get Rivia back?”

“… Okay…”

*

And now it was later.

Drakaya was thrown into a cell with Serrus, protesting feebly. Rivia, who had been in there a while, was definitely pleased to see Serrus. Less so to Drakaya.

“Look, what did we do wrong?” said Drakaya.

“You. Do. Not. Charge. In. And. Threaten. To. Incinerate. Everyone,” said Serrus, carefully pronouncing each word.

“Why?”

“You’re a damn high elf. As if you’d ever do anything if they hadn’t done anything wrong to you.”

“Wrong,” said Drakaya. She was getting annoyed.

“Hey… why are your hands glowing blue?” said Serrus, shortly before being frozen in a giant block of ice.

She warped out of the cell, and then cast a lesser invisibility spell.

She then went back to the assassin’s guild. Drakaya almost felt sorry for him.

As an afterthought, she notified Darokh, the head of the guild, about Serrus’ capture.

He didn’t seem happy, so she left out her part in the matter.

*

Serrus defrosted after six hours. There are many things it can be uncomfortable and unpleasant to wake up to, or defrost to, and a knife at your throat is one of them.

Unfortunately, he was in such a position.

“Now. You are going to come with me,” purred a soft female voice behind him, “or this knife may just slip. Don’t talk,” said the voice behind him as he opened his mouth, “people talking makes me nervous. When I get nervous, I tend to drop things.”

“…” said Serrus. He could feel a tiny drop of blood coming down his neck where the knife had “slipped” slightly.

“Now. You are coming?” the voice said.

Serrus nodded slightly, enough to show agreement, but not enough to make the knife cut him.

“Alright. Good,” said the voice, which was followed by a “NARUTIA’S HAMMER! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” said the voice, accidentally flinging the knife away as Rivia bit down on the assaulter’s buttocks as hard as the little dragon could.

Serrus took advantage of this opportunity, and grabbed his own twin daggers. They had been enchanted, and as he spun around and pointed one of them at the attacker it glowed, menacingly.

Serrus snarled, waved the dagger slightly while chanting in the Dark Elven language – it was actually just him saying how much he hated sunburn, but it sounded menacing, and that helped in the end – and a bolt of shadow energy shot from the end and hit the attacker – now revealed as a human teenage girl, 18 or 19 by the looks of it – in the chest. She was flung back, hit the wall of the room – Serrus only now noted that he wasn’t in the cell anymore – and slid down it. The girl stood up.

“What on earth was that for?” she said, in an irate voice.

“You were trying to kill me!”

“What? This was just my assessment task!” said the girl.

“… and they sent you to kill me.”

“No! I was just meant to escort you out of the room without you harming me!”

“Ah. Serrus,” said a new voice, behind Serrus. Serrus froze in fear. He knew that voice.

“Darokh? Were you aware the dragon was in here?” said the girl. She didn’t seem scared.

“Yes, Teraura. It was part of the test. Many nobles do have pets that will defend them vigilantly, as Rivia here did for Serrus,” said Darokh, “But, Serrus… this is the seventh time you’ve been caught now. This month alone.”

Serrus said nothing. When dealing with the master of the Assassin’s Guild, he’d found that safest.

“I’m afraid after your… escape… from the prison cell, the Watch has set your bounty up to more than 500,000 eru. It’s not safe for you to go out anymore. Until your bounty goes down significantly, it’s not safe for you to come out of the guild.”

Serrus could feel the fury building up inside him. It wasn’t his fault. Drakaya had blackmailed him into it, and then bailed out. And raising the bounty for escaping? He hadn’t done it. Why had they even taken him out?

“So, wait. I’m just supposed to sit here and be… practiced on?” he said.

“Well… not exactly. You do have an impressive record, I must admit. For every one time you get caught there are two where you succeed. Many assassins fail to get a second chance. So… we’re going to give you a real assignment. It’s dangerous, but… it could work,” replied Darokh.

“Could work? So you’re not certain?”

“No. We are not. However… Teraura here… she’s actually quite the alchemist. We… might, and I mean might, have a way to get you out of the guild. It would also give you easy access to the palace.”

“What… so… an invisibility potion?”

“Metaphorically, yes. Literally, no. I think… you should simply visit Teraura’s makeshift lab. It’s not perfect, of course, but… if you are still humanoid by tomorrow, report to my office at 8:30 AM.”

And with that, Darokh strode off.

After a bit of silence, Serrus said “So… are you going to show me there?”

“What? Oh. Right. Yeah. Sure.” said Teraura. And she walked, rather nervously, along the corridors towards the girl’s dorms. Serrus didn’t actually see anything, but he had the feeling he was being watched. The giggling from some of the rooms seemed to confirm his suspicions.

Eventually, he arrived there. It was a fairly normal room. The only out of place things there were the vials and bottles on the desk, and Drakaya.

“What? Why are you here?”

“I was going to ask you that, but… I see Darokh’s found a guinea pig for Teraura’s experiments,” said Drakaya.

“Guinea pig? What? Is that the whole point? I become a rodent?”

“Don’t worry… it’s nothing like that. Well… not much, anyway…” said Teraura.

“What? Not much? So what will it d-“

He was cut off by Teraura taking the opportunity to pour the entire contents of a vial down his throat.

It tasted of strawberries.

“Hm. No visible affects at 10 seconds…” said Teraura, “That mean’s it’s probably not instant in it’s effect.”

“Right. So we should be seeing a difference by tomorrow?” said Drakaya.

“If it’s a success, yes… but this hasn’t been tested on humans. Or any elves. If it’s a success, I should be able to develop one that works in reverse, but either way, if it works on him, it should work on all elves.”

Serrus felt his throat.  It seemed fine, but the strawberries lingered.

“What’ve you… what… you… done… t’me…” he mumbled, then fell asleep.

“Okay, extreme drowsiness seems a fairly major side effect,” said Teraura, as Rivia fluttered nervously near her master. She pulled out a notebook.

“Okay, I reckon we should keep him here… until we’re certain. If it doesn’t work, I could teleport him back,” said Drakaya.

“Fine. As long as you don’t teleport him two hundred metres higher than he’s meant to be.”

“Look, that was once!”

“My leg still hurts. And that was two years ago.”

“Shut up.”