Vana sat on Teraura’s bed, a bit confused.
Among other things, her hand felt hot.
So there was the gender-confused Serrus, who seemed to have a split personality, Drakaya, who just seemed irritable, and Teraura. Her sister.
Remara was evil, Schnübertzen was… well, he wasn’t him, and Teraura, Drakaya, and Serrus were… kinda odd.
Teraura, not so much. Serrus, though… he… or she… was weird.
Like, really weird.
Sometimes Vana wished she could go back to how she had been. But… now she had family. For the first time since Alvas died… she had a family.
Was it a good thing?
The heat was getting really intense now. It didn’t hurt, but… it was odd.
She looked down, and screamed.
“OH… MY… GODS… WHAT THE…?” she yelled.
She stared in shock at it for a few seconds.
*
Serrus gazed at his feet. It was… odd. It didn’t seem like his life he was living any more.
Darokh had a lot to answer for.
Sara?
Yeah? came the reply from the depths of his brain.
Um… what the hell am I meant to do? I’m so bored! What do girls do for…well, fun?
Er. I guess you could… um, I don’t really know what court ladies are meant to do… all I know is all that seems to happen is they wait around pouting for their hero to rescue them or something.
…but it’ll have to be a guy who does that, won’t it?
I suppose so. That means you… um… try to… um… I guess… be beautiful. Or something… er, you could… Sara racked their memory for anything they knew about girls, um… I don’t know, get your hair done
Right. And?
And what?
What else?
Er, not much. Find other girls to chat with?
… you’re really not much of a girl, are you?
Hey, I came into existence a few days ago! I’m not just… a girl. I’m just… kind of… just slightly… differently… look, I’m just you if you’d turned into a girl and your personality changed. Right now, we’re the same, basically, but I guess it’ll be more and more helpful as time goes on. Because, you know, our experiences will be splitting.
So you don’t know what I can do?
Um… no.
Argh, Dadæf is so damn sexist…
And then a scream happened. He ran in the direction of it, almost colliding with Teraura, and they burst into Vana’s room.
*
“Vana! Are you alri-OH MY GOD!” said Teraura.
Serrus said nothing, and just stared.
He walked up to Vana, gently held her arm, and gingerly touched the orange-yellow flames that engulfed her hand. He pulled it back quickly, and swore.
“Damndamndamndamndamn! Argh, godsdamn it!”
He stuck his fingers in his mouth, sucking furiously.
“H’s ayeyoung got ome ater?” he said, his hand muffling his words.
“By god, take that out, Serrus. Let me see it,” said Teraura.
Serrus slowly took his hand out. It was almost pure red in some places.
“I damn well barely touched it! I figured if it didn’t hurt her it wouldn’t hurt me…” he said.
Teraura picked up his hand.
“What’s wrong with it?” she said, puzzled.
“It’s damn well burnt!”
“Um… where…?” she asked.
“Er. It was burnt on my fingers, but… um… what… happened?”
“It… looks fine now. Er, hang on. Question number one – why the hell are my hands on fire?” asked Vana.
“Er… it looks like a fireball. Hang on, is it a fire jet or a fireball?” said Serrus, almost babbling now.
Vana opened her palm. There was clearly a central point in the fire.
“Um, fireball, I guess,” she said.
“Er, since when were you a mage? I thought you were… well…” said Teraura.
“Well what?” demanded Vana, angrily.
“…um, kind of useless. But… can you actually use the fireball?”
“Er, I don’t know. How am I meant to do it?”
“Just… um, try to throw it, I guess…” said Serrus, hesitantly.
“Er, okay…”
Vana threw the fireball. It exploded as it hit the wall, leaving a nice chrysanthemum pattern where it hit.
“Ooh,” she said.
“Try… oh, I don’t know… a frost bolt. Or lightning. Just try to think of… coldness. Or zap…itude,” suggested Serrus.
Vana closed her eyes, and concentrated. She delved deep inside her own mind, her own state of being, and found… the source.
And she unleashed it.
*
“Wha… what just happened?” said Serrus.
“I don’t know… I kinda blanked out after the white light.”
Serrus opened his eyes a fraction.
There was a hole in the roof.
And the floor.
“Um… I think I just made lightning happen…” said Vana.
“Oh. Well…. Very good… then… um… what’s that powder?” said Serrus, pointing to a small pile of blue-white powder around the small hole Vana had made.
“Oh… yes… YES!” said Teraura.
“What… what is it?”
“That’s arcane dust! But… Vana… you’re not eighth level, so…”
Vana shrugged.
“Meh, no problem. I hope the rest is that easy,” she replied.
“I doubt it will be,” said Serrus, grimacing, “How’re we meant to keep Remara away from us?”
“She knows who Darokh really is, but she knows nothing about you, Serrus, except you’re an imposter,” contributed Teraura.
“What about you and Drakaya?”
Teraura paused slightly before answering this one.
“She has no idea about Drakaya. I mean, who cares about servants? And I don’t know about me,” she replied.
“Right… so now what?”
“We need to get the other parts of the potion to make Jengison a girl. We need Essence of Drake, which I’m hoping you can get, Serrus…”
“Sure. Wait, what?”
“Hairs representing ‘true girlishness’, er, tannin rich strawberries, unripe Belladonna, and… oh, right, that’s about it. Yeah. So I think we should get the essence of Drake first.”
“What? Where from?”
“You have Rivia, don’t you?”
“But she’s back at the guild somewhere!”
“So…?”
Serrus spluttered for a moment, and then pointed to his breasts.
“I am NOT going back to the guild like this!”
“Why not?”
“Because, oh, I dunno, I’M A GIRL RIGHT NOW!”
Teraura folded her arms.
“…and your point is?”
“No one will recognize me!”
“Good, you’d hate them to recognize you while you’re in a dress,” said Teraura, with the air of one who knew they couldn’t lose this argument.
“They won’t know who I am!”
“They will assume you have a right to be there. Anyone who knows the incantation to get in is either a full or honorary member.”
Vana grinned, watching Serrus get more and more desperate.
“… but what if a guy tries to hit on me?”
“Let Sara take over. She knows what to do.”
“What if they want to… go to first base?”
All three of them blinked perplexedly.
“Er, what’s first base?” asked Vana, looking at each of the other’s faces in turn.
“I have no idea… it just seemed relevant,” said Serrus, “I really have no idea why I said that.
“First base of WHAT?” asked Teraura.
Hm…?
“Hang on, Sara’s waking up.”
“Good, go get her opinion,” said Vana.
You sleep in SO late now, thought Serrus.
Jeez, it’s not like you ever need me. I’m just trying to pass the time somehow, and seeing as YOU have the body most of the time, that’s all I can really do!
No need to get so hyped up about it. Look… I-
We.
Fine, WE have to go back to the guild. Rivia’s there, and we need her for part of the potion
Oh. Right… and your point is…?
B…but…
We are going there, right now.
Serrus winced.
“Sara’s with you on this… urgh… but how do I get out without Remara noticing?”
“Who says she doesn’t have to notice?”
Serrus, for the first time in what seemed like weeks, grinned.
*
“YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT THIS MINUTE, SARA!” shouted Darokh, leaning slightly outside the window.
“NO! I’M SICK OF BEING SHUT UP INSIDE THAT PLACE! I NEED TO GO SHOPPING, I’VE BEEN WEARING THE SAME DRESS FOR DAYS!” replied Sara, Serrus for once comfortable to let her take over.
“FINE, BUT DON’T EXPECT THERE TO BE A BED TO COME BACK TO!” said Darokh, leaning back in and slamming the window shut.
Sara relaxed and let Serrus take over again.
Right, now back to the guild.
Thanks for that, Captain Obvious, thought Serrus.
I thought women couldn’t go past seargent?
… shut up. I don’t need your comments.
Suuuure.
Serrus made an attempt to glare at Sara. It didn’t really work.
Nice, said Sara, stifling a thought laugh.
Oh, just shut up, replied Serrus, and, for the first time in what seemed like years, returned to the assassin’s guild.
